Kotsu Kotsu

Some years ago I made a commitment to speak the truth , in other words, not to lie. Since then I have been working to refine my speech, so that, more than simply speaking truly, I speak in a way that is good for myself and others, i.e. ethically. I came across these five tests for ethical speech in a talk by the Buddhist scholar and teacher, Gil Fronsdal . They're posted above my desk. I try (!) not to open my mouth unless my speech meets all five tests. I'm afraid most of the time I end up administering the test after the fact... Five Tests for Ethical Speech Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Useful? Is it Timely? Does it Create Concord? For me, the last test is the toughest.

I recently wrote a post about judgmental thoughts  and the way that they actually make me feel badly about myself. An essay by Gil Fronsdal about ill will really hits the nail on the head. " Being caught up in ill will is itself painful  [my emphasis]. It constricts the mind and heart. Our viewpoint can become narrow and hostile. Ill will can predispose us to focus on whatever is undesirable or going wrong. We become more reactive and are more likely to act impulsively. For some people, the discomfort that comes from having ill will is fuel to keep it going; aversion to aversion perpetuates aversion."  - Gil Fronsdal, The Hindrance of Ill Will Negative emotions are self-perpetuating :  they feed on themselves. Like drinking coffee or eating too much sugar, they produce a kind of excited feeling, and your brain/body tells you "this is good." It's odd, isn't it, that we can have an aversion to something, and our response is to keep thinking about it, to...

Some Kokikai dojo display photos of previous Kokikai Winter and Summer Camps . Each shows 200 or so people lined up in some configuration around Sensei . When we see them, each of us does the same thing: "Here's me!" Those 30 or 40 pixels that form the shape of my head are so important to me! Meanwhile, Sensei's focus is on arranging all those forms to make a beautiful image: straight lines, clean edges, hands folded. Sometimes, to put my ego in the back seat for a while, I imagine myself as a blotch of paint in Sensei's pointillist canvas. Then Gil Fronsdal says "Each of you has within you a tremendous beauty. and if you only knew how beautiful you are, you would fall on your knees and bow to yourself." Am I important? Or are I insignificant? Am I one pixel on the great canvas? Or am I worthy of worship? I puzzle on this as I drive to work. Then I see a heron winging across the highway, its wings flapping in lazy beats, and I am transport...

Gil Fronsdal , in one of his online dharma talks , (I'm not sure, maybe this one ) spoke about the power of subtle thoughts. He described how, in the early days of his practice of meditation, he became interested in the idea of "falling in love." Because his meditation practice involved noticing the thoughts that came into his mind, he was able to distinguish a point when his thoughts about someone changed, when he thought, "Ah, this woman has such and such qualities. I could be in love with her." It was after that decision that he began the process of "falling in love." Many forms of meditation practice (including traditions such as Zen, Vipassana and others) involve mindfulness or "noticing" of the types of thoughts that come to mind as we sit. Many people find as they practice in this way that they are gradually more able to distinguish these subtle thoughts. This can lead to a sense of having more power or control over one's life, ...