Kotsu Kotsu

Long before I was an aikido teacher, I made a decision to remove sexuality from my interactions on the mat. It happened because I found myself inappropriately attracted to another student, and the way I acted as a result bothered me. I'm not sure that the change was obvious to anyone but myself, but for me the benefits were immediate and far-reaching. I stopped unconsciously judging other students by whether they were attractive. I could more clearly see all their human qualities, including their aikido ability. I'm embarrassed to admit that until then, I gravitated toward people who were attractive or attracted to me. Now I have a much wider range of potential friendships and interactions. When I stopped flirting - either overtly or subtly, I stopped being concerned whether what I was doing looked good or was impressive. I started paying more attention to others:  what they needed, what they heard, what they did. I started to develop much more close friendships w...

Thelonious Monk When a great jazz musician plays a solo it looks like the most spontaneous thing in the world. But as a musician I know that the relaxed spontaneity and command of the material that make for great music are the result of many hours of meticulous practice and preparation. I can't think of a single situation involving getting up in front of a group of people, whether to speak, teach or perform, when it's appropriate to do so without preparation and, in most cases, rehearsal.  In teaching yoga and aikido I've learned that I teach best when I'm prepared. Like anyone, I hear that inner voice that tries to talk me out of planning: "Oh, you've done this for years, you know your stuff. You're not like all those other people." That particular inner voice is mistaken.  If a yoga instructor, for example, is ill-prepared, instead of a class when students can be attentive to their own transformation, students are forced to ...

Here's the Dalai Lama's Facebook post today: "Education and knowledge by themselves do not bring inner peace to individuals, families or the society in which they live. But education combined with warmheartedness, a sense of concern for the well-being of others, has much more positive results. If you have a great deal of knowledge, but you're governed by negative emotions, then you tend to use your knowledge in negative ways. Therefore, while you are learning, don't forget the importance of warmheartedness." How often do I try to "impart some knowledge" to someone, and end up feeling frustrated by the lack of receptivity! Taking a step back to begin with warmheartedness and caring can change the interaction completely!

When you think of the Buddha, you think of the young man who was born in Kapilvastu, who practiced many years in the forest and who went around India to live the teaching. But that is only a portion of the Buddha, because the moment when the Buddha began to build the sangha , he begin to transfer himself to the sangha and many disciples, monastic and lay, they continue the Buddha. You have to see the Buddha in the sangha . You have to be able to see the Buddha in the dharma (teaching). If you have not seen the dharma and the sangha , you have not seen the Buddha. The dharma is available in the here and the now. The sangha is also available in the here and the now. You do not have to go to India in order to see the Buddha.   If you believe that Buddha is a god, and can bestow on us the things we want, then that is not the Buddha.  The Buddha is a human being who has a deep capacity of understanding and of loving and of having maha karuna , great compassion, maha maitri...

Recently I attended a yoga class during which one of the students corrected the instructor. I'm sure she had the best of intentions. She is another teacher in the same studio, she has more experience, and she did it in a whisper where she thought others couldn't hear. Nevertheless, it was inappropriate. As we gain experience in yoga, aikido or any "internal" practice, we inevitably face this impulse to "teach." Sometimes the urge is very strong. A little voice tells us that we are being helpful, that the instructor will benefit from our experience and knowledge. Unfortunately this is not the case. It doesn't help the instructor in question, nor his students, and it doesn't help us either. First, consider how it feels for the instructor who is "corrected" by a student, especially by one with more experience. He may already be nervous with this person in the class. Now his fears are confirmed. His confidence is weakened, he may have diffi...

Last night I attended a fantastic concert given by  Zakir Hussain and Niladri Kumar . Later I tried to put a finger on what made the performance so electrifying. It wasn't just that these two are amazing virtuosi and very exciting to watch. It was their ability to connect to the audience and to each other that gave them the ability almost to stop time.  This is not always the case -  I have gone to see world famous jazz musicians whose performances left me cold. Sometimes it seemed the musicians were showing technical expertise but not connecting with the audience. Other times I sensed a negative, competitive edge among the players. I can't count the number of times I've heard Maruyama Sensei talk about how important it is for an aikido teacher to be exciting, captivating, fascinating. A critique he sometimes makes of students' demonstrations and tests is that they're not interesting to watch. He chooses his ukes (attackers) not just by how strong, fast, flexible...