Ill Will

By -

I recently wrote a post about judgmental thoughts and the way that they actually make me feel badly about myself. An essay by Gil Fronsdal about ill will really hits the nail on the head.
"Being caught up in ill will is itself painful [my emphasis]. It constricts the mind and heart. Our viewpoint can become narrow and hostile. Ill will can predispose us to focus on whatever is undesirable or going wrong. We become more reactive and are more likely to act impulsively. For some people, the discomfort that comes from having ill will is fuel to keep it going; aversion to aversion perpetuates aversion."  - Gil Fronsdal, The Hindrance of Ill Will
Negative emotions are self-perpetuating:  they feed on themselves. Like drinking coffee or eating too much sugar, they produce a kind of excited feeling, and your brain/body tells you "this is good." It's odd, isn't it, that we can have an aversion to something, and our response is to keep thinking about it, to keep bringing it up in conversation, and sometimes, to keep approaching the people who caused us to feel that way.

To get out of the cycle of ill will, first we have to recognize that we're in it. We also have to understand it's not good for us. Being under the influence of ill will is part of ordinary life - there's no need to judge ourselves (isn't that just another bit of ill will?). Simple mindful presence is enough for ill will to start to lose its influence.

I don't want anyone to misunderstand: I'm not suggesting that people stop caring or taking action when something is wrong. I'm talking about taking action against the harmful effects of ill will on ourselves. When we do this, it actually opens us up to being more effective to counteract things that are unjust or wrong in the wider world.

I have a new kitten, and he loves to dig his claws into my jeans, and sometimes, my leg.  My first reaction is to lose my temper , but the most effective way to get him to release his claws is to hold him securely and calmly until he relaxes.

Related posts:
Judgmental Thoughts...and Practicing Compassion
What to Look for in a Teacher



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to Make a "Rush" Woven Seat Chair Using Old Jeans (or Fabric Scraps)

By -
Image
I used the technique for weaving a rush chair seat to make a chair seat using old jeans. The antique ladderback chair is just the right height for me to practice my Québécois button accordion. Fabric Choice Although at first I considered using t-shirt strips (also called tarn), I decided to jeans because denim is stronger and not stretchy. I had some old heavy linen fabric that would have done the trick, too, but I didn't have enough for the whole chair with either linen or jeans. I decided not to mix them, at least not for my first chair. I was advised, (correctly!) by other crafters, that all I had to do was out the word out, and I’d get donations. I sent out 4 emails and literally went shopping and there were two pairs of jeans on my doorstep. I had five more pairs by the weekend. (Now I need another chair!) Some Pointers Before I describe the process, here are some pointers. I don't recommend doing this with a stretchy fabric. Therefore, if you use jeans, avo...
Read more

Keep One Point

By -
Image
I've been slowly but surely writing of a series posts devoted to each of the  four basic principles of Kokikai Aikido . One of these is Keep One Point to Develop Calmness. We spend about 90 minutes in each aikido class, and most students practice once or twice a week - only a small proportion of the of hours we are awake each week. It may be plenty of time to spend doing a demanding physical exercise, but we need to spend more time working on the underlying principles for them to become second nature in our bodies. Fortunately, all of the basic principles are easily practiced at any time, not just in class. We can easily practice finding and keeping One Point while off the mat, and test the results when we're back on the mat. What Is One Point? One Point is a concept closely related to your center of balance. Centuries ago martial artists discovered that if the mind is focused on keeping this point low, one becomes stronger and harder to move. In Kokikai, we first...
Read more

What is Ki?

By -
Image
The concept of Ki , or lifeforce, exists in many cultures. In Chinese it's Chi or Qi , in Sanskrit,  Prana . In western culture, while we may say someone has a soul that is distinct from their physical body, the soul is connected to the individual.  Ki, as it is understood in Japanese culture, is a universal force that permeates everything. Individuals may manifest more or less ki, but it is a connecting force between everyone and everything. In Japan, ki is an everyday concept that's found in many common phrases . For example the phrase "O  ki o tsuke te," which means "take care," literally means, "apply ki ."   "O genki desu?" the most common way to say "How are you?" means, literally, "Do you have ki ?"   "Ii k imochi," a phrase heard often, particularly in popular songs, means "(What a) good feeling." "Ii" means "good" and "kimochi" literally means having, o...
Read more