Why I Don't Sexualize Interactions on the Mat: A Personal Account

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Long before I was an aikido teacher, I made a decision to remove sexuality from my interactions on the mat.

It happened because I found myself inappropriately attracted to another student, and the way I acted as a result bothered me. I'm not sure that the change was obvious to anyone but myself, but for me the benefits were immediate and far-reaching.
  • I stopped unconsciously judging other students by whether they were attractive. I could more clearly see all their human qualities, including their aikido ability. I'm embarrassed to admit that until then, I gravitated toward people who were attractive or attracted to me. Now I have a much wider range of potential friendships and interactions.
  • When I stopped flirting - either overtly or subtly, I stopped being concerned whether what I was doing looked good or was impressive. I started paying more attention to others:  what they needed, what they heard, what they did.
  • I started to develop much more close friendships with women. 
I'm pretty sure I have become a better aikidoist, teacher, and person for taking this step. 


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