Clearing the Path of Resistance
Weirdly, sometimes when you stop fighting back, It's easier to get what you want
In Kokikai Aikido we often say that when practicing, the more you encounter resistance, the more you have to relax. When an attacker feels you resisting, they fight you even harder, hold you even tighter.
Your own resistance acts like brambles clogging a path. They cling and slow you down. To get where you want to go, you have to clear them away.
It takes a big leap of faith to believe that we can really defeat an attacker by using less muscle. We say we believe it, but when the time comes to do it, our brains just seem wired to the idea that tensing our muscles will work.
An aikido technique comes to mind. Called ryote tori kokyunage saio undo, it starts with the attacker grabbing one arm with both hands. As you can imagine, it's very hard to move your arm when someone is grabbing it with two hands. I'm not tall or particularly athletic. In addition to being female and over 50, I weigh about 128 lbs. But if I can find a way to release the tension in my forearm and upper arm, I can move even a big, strong person holding on with both muscular arms, without them being able to stop me.
I like to practice slowly so I can feel exactly where and when I'm introducing tension. Uke (attacker) can really help by moderating the attack to provide just enough resistance for nage (person being attacked) to learn where they are going wrong.
Letting Go of Tension in Daily Life
We can use this idea of letting go of tension when we encounter resistance in daily life. It has many of the same effects as in aikido: helping us overcome resistance, especially when dealing with conflict with other people. When particular interactions are troubling me, I find I have to consider them in as much detail as possible, being honest about my feelings, and wondering when I could introduce less tension or resistance at each point.
As with aikido practice, it takes a real commitment to honesty, openness, and mental flexibility to let go of ideas like "winning," "being right," "asserting control," or "being well-thought of." But when I do, I often find I can clear the path and move more easily in the direction I want to go.
In Kokikai Aikido we often say that when practicing, the more you encounter resistance, the more you have to relax. When an attacker feels you resisting, they fight you even harder, hold you even tighter.
Your own resistance acts like brambles clogging a path. They cling and slow you down. To get where you want to go, you have to clear them away.
It takes a big leap of faith to believe that we can really defeat an attacker by using less muscle. We say we believe it, but when the time comes to do it, our brains just seem wired to the idea that tensing our muscles will work.An aikido technique comes to mind. Called ryote tori kokyunage saio undo, it starts with the attacker grabbing one arm with both hands. As you can imagine, it's very hard to move your arm when someone is grabbing it with two hands. I'm not tall or particularly athletic. In addition to being female and over 50, I weigh about 128 lbs. But if I can find a way to release the tension in my forearm and upper arm, I can move even a big, strong person holding on with both muscular arms, without them being able to stop me.I like to practice slowly so I can feel exactly where and when I'm introducing tension. Uke (attacker) can really help by moderating the attack to provide just enough resistance for nage (person being attacked) to learn where they are going wrong.
Letting Go of Tension in Daily Life
We can use this idea of letting go of tension when we encounter resistance in daily life. It has many of the same effects as in aikido: helping us overcome resistance, especially when dealing with conflict with other people. When particular interactions are troubling me, I find I have to consider them in as much detail as possible, being honest about my feelings, and wondering when I could introduce less tension or resistance at each point.
As with aikido practice, it takes a real commitment to honesty, openness, and mental flexibility to let go of ideas like "winning," "being right," "asserting control," or "being well-thought of." But when I do, I often find I can clear the path and move more easily in the direction I want to go.
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