Admitting Mistakes Opens the Door to Change

By -
At this time of year everyone's thinking about how to "be better" next year. Here's my thought:

So many of us want so badly to be better at something (musicians, aikidoka, life partners, parents...) but if we can't look at our mistakes straightforwardly, we can never identify the steps needed to change.

If we want to change, the most important step is to admit we made a mistake.

I think it's hard for us to admit mistakes because deep down most of us think we suck. If we admit to a mistake, it just proves the fact.

But this doesn't make sense, does it? If I think I'm bad, I should be happy to improve, right? For some reason, though, admitting a particular mistake is much more challenging than carrying the subconscious burden of "not measuring up."

It doesn't matter if it's realizing I'm having a hard time with a particular set of chord changes, or admitting that I actually do text while I drive and it's dangerous. Owning our failings doesn't make us suck more! It's exactly the opposite! Once we own them we're more than half way to fixing them!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to Make a "Rush" Woven Seat Chair Using Old Jeans (or Fabric Scraps)

By -
Image
I used the technique for weaving a rush chair seat to make a chair seat using old jeans. The antique ladderback chair is just the right height for me to practice my Québécois button accordion. Fabric Choice Although at first I considered using t-shirt strips (also called tarn), I decided to jeans because denim is stronger and not stretchy. I had some old heavy linen fabric that would have done the trick, too, but I didn't have enough for the whole chair with either linen or jeans. I decided not to mix them, at least not for my first chair. I was advised, (correctly!) by other crafters, that all I had to do was out the word out, and I’d get donations. I sent out 4 emails and literally went shopping and there were two pairs of jeans on my doorstep. I had five more pairs by the weekend. (Now I need another chair!) Some Pointers Before I describe the process, here are some pointers. I don't recommend doing this with a stretchy fabric. Therefore, if you use jeans, avo
Read more

Keep One Point

By -
Image
I've been slowly but surely writing of a series posts devoted to each of the  four basic principles of Kokikai Aikido . One of these is Keep One Point to Develop Calmness. We spend about 90 minutes in each aikido class, and most students practice once or twice a week - only a small proportion of the of hours we are awake each week. It may be plenty of time to spend doing a demanding physical exercise, but we need to spend more time working on the underlying principles for them to become second nature in our bodies. Fortunately, all of the basic principles are easily practiced at any time, not just in class. We can easily practice finding and keeping One Point while off the mat, and test the results when we're back on the mat. What Is One Point? One Point is a concept closely related to your center of balance. Centuries ago martial artists discovered that if the mind is focused on keeping this point low, one becomes stronger and harder to move. In Kokikai, we first learn
Read more

Kotsu-Kotsu

By -
Image
Several years ago I visited Japan for the third Kokikai Aikido International Convention. Because of the language barrier I wasn’t able to talk to very many of Maruyama Sensei ’s Japanese students in depth. However, I did spend some time talking to Shuji Ozeki, founder of Kokikai Australia , who speaks English fluently. Ozeki Sensei has practiced Kokikai Aikido for over 25 years. He now lives in Seki, Japan and runs the Ozeki School of Japanese Cuisine .  We immediately slipped into a discussion about the core of Sensei’s teaching, and whether it was different for Japanese or American students. Ozeki Sensei was effusive about the way that Sensei’s teaching has greatly benefited his own life and benefits others by encouraging all human beings to respect one another. with Shuji Ozeki at Kokikai Aikido International Convention Ozeki Sensei explained to me the Japanese phrase, “Ichi go, ichi e.” I had purchased this calligraphy at a temple in Kyoto. I have heard it interpreted in
Read more