The Price of Taking Sides

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The Increase in Divisive Communication

Recently a friend shared a post on Facebook - one of those posts that “proves” that one (usually political or religious) viewpoint is right and the other is wrong.

“This makes my blood boil!” she wrote.

In 35 years as an adult, I have seen a trend toward more and more communication that is divisive in nature: More taking sides, more demeaning language, and less and less tolerance of different viewpoints.

I connect the trend with the advent of 24-hour news, masses of TV channels, Facebook and social media sharing. It could be my bias as a television and advertising professional, but it's also something I know a lot about. Strong emotions like anger have a kind of addictive appeal. That appeal is not unknown to Internet and TV media. Getting people excited, angry and upset is good for advertisers, television programmers and social media companies: more viewers=more ad dollars, more Internet “eyeballs” and more shares=more ad dollars. We know how to get people angry, and we do it because it works.

The Terrible Price of Divisive Speech

Listen to stories from people who grew up 30 years ago in Iraq or in Yugoslavia. They will talk about the way that people of different religions lived on the same streets, in the same neighborhoods; everyone went to the same weddings, festivals and birthday parties. Read about Germany before the Nazis, Afghanistan before the Taliban and you will hear the same thing: A culture where people lived together peacefully, celebrated their common humanity, and had a “live and let live” attitude about differences.

Looking at these historical examples makes me very fearful for America’s future. I do love my country, and I would hate to see it divided in civil war or overrun by religious or political zealots. It sounds crazy, I know, but it would have sounded crazy to anyone living in Afghanistan in 1960 or Germany in 1910. But it also makes perfect sense: The logical conclusion of divisive communication is a divided country.

While it is satisfying to glue myself to the news that makes me angry and forward the posts that prove the other side is a bunch of idiots, as a culture can we afford to pay the price?

Working to Heal Our Culture

I keep these principles for ethical speech on my desk:

  1. Is it true?
  2. Is it kind
  3. Is it useful
  4. Is it timely
  5. Does it create concord?

With these principles in mind, here are two simple steps that can help us heal before it’s too late.

1: Don’t Fan the Flames
Think twice. If it doesn’t help bring people together, don’t say it, don’t post it, don't share it, don’t watch it.  If trolls and flamers comment on your posts, delete them.

2: Put Out the Fire
Work actively to create concord. Try to recognize things on both sides of an issue that emphasize our common humanity and common culture. Sometimes all it takes is a little change in the way you phrase things to change how you think about them. Why not help others to do the same?

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Comments

  1. LionKinghornAugust 2, 2014 at 10:31 PM

    "The Way of a Warrior, the Art of Politics, is to stop trouble before it starts. It consists in defeating your adversaries spiritually by making them realize the folly of their actions. The Way of a Warrior is to establish harmony."
    ~ Morihei Ueshiba O'Sensei

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