Just Shine
I often feel some conflict when it comes to my ego. Being a musician and practicing aikido both highlight this tension for me.
On the one hand, I understand that humility is good. It's important to recognize the talents and achievements of others. In my study of Buddhist teachings I've even heard that there's something called "no-self" that I'm supposed to be aiming for, where I realize the interconnectedness of all things and lose my ego.
On the other hand, to stand in front of a room full of people and play music, or to teach them self defense, I need a really strong sense of confidence about my ability and who I am.
Of course the martial arts has a strong tradition of respecting and acknowledging those who are more experienced. Even though I have been practicing Kokikai Aikido for more than 20 years, there are many current teachers in Kokikai who had been practicing for 10, 20 or more years when I started. And of course our founder, Shuji Maruyama Sensei, is unquestionably one of the world's foremost martial artists.
In music all it takes is a quick browse on YouTube to find people in any genre who far outclass me. Some of them have more years of experience, training and practice; others are just plain better!
So how can I stay aware and honest about my place in this constellation of talent and ability, and at the same time present what I have to present in a way that's engaging, interesting, worth paying attention to?
On the one hand, I understand that humility is good. It's important to recognize the talents and achievements of others. In my study of Buddhist teachings I've even heard that there's something called "no-self" that I'm supposed to be aiming for, where I realize the interconnectedness of all things and lose my ego.
On the other hand, to stand in front of a room full of people and play music, or to teach them self defense, I need a really strong sense of confidence about my ability and who I am.
Of course the martial arts has a strong tradition of respecting and acknowledging those who are more experienced. Even though I have been practicing Kokikai Aikido for more than 20 years, there are many current teachers in Kokikai who had been practicing for 10, 20 or more years when I started. And of course our founder, Shuji Maruyama Sensei, is unquestionably one of the world's foremost martial artists.
In music all it takes is a quick browse on YouTube to find people in any genre who far outclass me. Some of them have more years of experience, training and practice; others are just plain better!
So how can I stay aware and honest about my place in this constellation of talent and ability, and at the same time present what I have to present in a way that's engaging, interesting, worth paying attention to?
When I asked one of my teachers, David Nachman Sensei, about this, he gave me this advice:
"When you stand up in front of others, just shine."
"When you stand up in front of others, just shine."
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