Showing Up


Not long after I became a black belt in Kokikai Aikido, I was in the locker room at the Y with a friend who had been practicing a few more years than I. A little girl was with her mom, changing out of her swimsuit as we put on our uniforms. I felt proud as I watched her watching us put on first the t shirts, then the white pants, the gi top carefully wrapped and tied left side over right. When we took out our black belts, she finally burst out: "Oh! You're black belts?" We smiled and said yes. "I want to be a black belt!" My friend grinned and said to her, very seriously, "Well, all you have to do is keep going to class."

These words hold great wisdom. They could be interpreted to mean that one needs no special talent, and yet I think the message of consistency is a powerful one. In terms of meeting long-term goals, talent is helpful, but consistency is a requirement. 

I recently ran into someone I know who said he and his friend Andy had been taking 2-3 mile walks every evening. Wow, that's great, I thought. Stu definitely doesn't get enough exercise and, glancing at his belly, I can see he needs to lose some weight for his health. A week later I saw Andy in the coffee shop. I was surprised to see he had lost about 20 pounds - Stu didn't seem to have lost any weight. In the course of the conversation I mentioned his walks with Stu. "Well," said Andy, "I walk every evening, but he only joins me once a week, if that."

I took a workshop on learning the Anglo concertina (a devilish little thing that seemed like it would be so easy to play). One woman said, "I've had this instrument for about 4 years and I haven't been able to get anywhere. I feel like I should be practicing more, like probably 3-4 hours a day." That reminded me of my first attempts to learn jazz piano. I was hounded by the thought that I needed to practice more. The more I fretted, the less I practiced, with a correspondingly negative effect on my playing. In contrast, a few years ago I taught myself accordion by allotting 15 minutes a day, no more. But always at least five days a week. In a year, the difference was amazing.

When my goals seem overwhelming and impossible, I try to remember stories like these.

Oh, and my friend from the locker room? She is now a fourth-degree black belt, and has just finished writing her first book.

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