Making Mistakes

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Scabiosa - photo by Yenka
Recently while watching musical performances both in person and on YouTube, I've noticed performers wincing at their perceived mistakes. An experienced performer won't react while she is playing, but afterwards you can see the disappointment in her face. Yet these same performances received heartfelt accolades. Are the audiences ignorant, or do they realize something that the performers don't? 

 This got me thinking about aikido (of course). High-ranking students are often asked to give impromptu demonstrations. Usually this happens at a camp, when 100-250 aikido students are watching. We'd all like our demos to look perfect, with every technique controlled and crisp. Such is seldom the case, however. Uke are unpredictable. We don't always get attacked the way we expect. We think a bit slower on our feet than we'd prefer. And, if we start to look too comfortable, Sensei adds a second, or third, attacker! And yet, as with musicians, knowledgeable observers compliment the demonstration.

 When I watch an aikido demonstration I'm looking at more than the particulars of the technique. Does the nage have good posture? Does she look relaxed? If he does have difficulty, or unexpected things happen (he trips, or extra uke are added, or uke throws some strange punch) does he recover quickly? Is her face relaxed? Shoulders, hips? Does he have a combination of good One Point and relaxation, so his feet make good contact with the mat without being frozen there?

 What makes a musician great is also much more than the presence or absence of mistakes or the level of technical virtuosity. Thelonious Monk constantly played "wrong" notes, whether intended or not. Musicians like Mark O'Connor can play a simple, unadorned melody with great beauty. When we look at a beautiful flower, are we focused on tiny imperfections?

 Maybe these thoughts will help you stop worrying about your mistakes and focus on the essentials.

 Addendum: I went to see Chick Corea and Gary Burton last night at the Enlow Recital Hall in Hillside, NJ. Wow! Fantastic! Here's a tune that they played, from their new CD. The reason I mention it here is that the final tune was a composition by Chick. Gary started it off, and Chick played two chords and said, "Sorry, can we start again?" They started and once again, Chick said, "Nope..one more time, sorry." He looked at his music, ran through a few chords quietly, and then said, "OK." The third time was golden.

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