Can a Woman Really Defend Herself?

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Any of these women can walk you to your car.
The other night as I left a music jam session after 10pm, I was asked if I needed an escort to my car. I reminded the guy who asked that I have an advanced martial arts degree. He looked like that wasn't a very convincing assurance of my ability to defend myself. I joked, "If you would like, I can walk with you to your car and protect you."

I was bothered by this interaction. It was as if 18 years of training was unimportant when faced with a difference in gender. I have no beef with this guy personally. His response was based on social conditioning; it is not normative to imagine a woman could protect herself better than a man, or that she could protect him.

But the fact is, someone who is well-trained in martial arts is more likely to have a fast and appropriate reaction to danger than someone who is not. And successful self defense simply does not depend on superior physical strength. For example: is physical strength the best defense from a gunshot?  You might also expect that I am a better musician than someone who has never played before, because I practice regularly and I have great teachers.

I know it's safer to walk in pairs at night, and I'm not averse to help when its helpful. I would happily accept the offer from the same person to put my keyboard and amp into my car. That's one case where extra muscle power is really useful. But as for whether brute strength (or gender) makes for better self defense: people really have to get over that idea.

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