Anger

By -
I ran into a friend yesterday who is going through a painful divorce. It was difficult to see him this way. Once a champion bodybuilder, he had lost weight, his thoughts were scattered, he looked and sounded defeated. He was so wrapped up in his anger that he was unable to experience or appreciate anything else: not the caring of the friends who were offering support or the helpful advice that they were giving him, not the delicious food, or the lovely summer day. It sounded like he had been in this state for months, and it may be many months, or years, before he is able to resolve the things that are making him unhappy.

Maruyama Sensei has said that in the context of fighting, "being angry is like having your eyes closed." My friend is in a fight and the outcome is vital to him, yet he is holding onto his anger as if it will save him even though the opposite is true.

Why do we hold on to our emotions as if they were weapons? I don't have the answer. I just know that my emotions do not represent reality; many times they obscure it. And I know that reality is precious: it's all we have!

Whenever I find myself battered by unpleasant emotions, if I can step back just one step, if I can open my eyes just one bit, I'm on the path to more equanimity and understanding. When the emotions are strong, this can be very, very difficult to do: more difficult than lifting heavy weights, daily sparring practice, or a three-hour workout. But it does get easier, and the rewards are great. After all, don't you think that you could solve your problems better if you had more equanimity and understanding? 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to Make a "Rush" Woven Seat Chair Using Old Jeans (or Fabric Scraps)

By -
Image
I used the technique for weaving a rush chair seat to make a chair seat using old jeans. The antique ladderback chair is just the right height for me to practice my Québécois button accordion. Fabric Choice Although at first I considered using t-shirt strips (also called tarn), I decided to jeans because denim is stronger and not stretchy. I had some old heavy linen fabric that would have done the trick, too, but I didn't have enough for the whole chair with either linen or jeans. I decided not to mix them, at least not for my first chair. I was advised, (correctly!) by other crafters, that all I had to do was out the word out, and I’d get donations. I sent out 4 emails and literally went shopping and there were two pairs of jeans on my doorstep. I had five more pairs by the weekend. (Now I need another chair!) Some Pointers Before I describe the process, here are some pointers. I don't recommend doing this with a stretchy fabric. Therefore, if you use jeans, avo...
Read more

Keep One Point

By -
Image
I've been slowly but surely writing of a series posts devoted to each of the  four basic principles of Kokikai Aikido . One of these is Keep One Point to Develop Calmness. We spend about 90 minutes in each aikido class, and most students practice once or twice a week - only a small proportion of the of hours we are awake each week. It may be plenty of time to spend doing a demanding physical exercise, but we need to spend more time working on the underlying principles for them to become second nature in our bodies. Fortunately, all of the basic principles are easily practiced at any time, not just in class. We can easily practice finding and keeping One Point while off the mat, and test the results when we're back on the mat. What Is One Point? One Point is a concept closely related to your center of balance. Centuries ago martial artists discovered that if the mind is focused on keeping this point low, one becomes stronger and harder to move. In Kokikai, we first...
Read more

What is Ki?

By -
Image
The concept of Ki , or lifeforce, exists in many cultures. In Chinese it's Chi or Qi , in Sanskrit,  Prana . In western culture, while we may say someone has a soul that is distinct from their physical body, the soul is connected to the individual.  Ki, as it is understood in Japanese culture, is a universal force that permeates everything. Individuals may manifest more or less ki, but it is a connecting force between everyone and everything. In Japan, ki is an everyday concept that's found in many common phrases . For example the phrase "O  ki o tsuke te," which means "take care," literally means, "apply ki ."   "O genki desu?" the most common way to say "How are you?" means, literally, "Do you have ki ?"   "Ii k imochi," a phrase heard often, particularly in popular songs, means "(What a) good feeling." "Ii" means "good" and "kimochi" literally means having, o...
Read more