Kotsu Kotsu

I was an editor in broadcast TV for about 20 years. One thing I noticed was that when you cut from one shot to the next, your eye focuses on the last frame before that cut, and you remember it. It was really important to know, because if a woman is being interviewed, and you edit to something else, and she starts to stick out her tongue or close her eyes before you cut, you really notice that frame. If she's smiling and starts to frown, you remember that. But if you cut just before the frown starts, you remember the big beautiful smile. I used to edit a lot of music videos and documentaries, and sometimes it was really fun to try to make that last frame before the cut something memorable.  I've realized that the same idea holds true for my thoughts. If I'm thinking about something, working on something, turning something over in my mind, and then I switch to thinking about something else, the thought that lingers is usually the last thought that I had before I ...

My brother Ben lives in a big city that definitely has its dangerous spots. Recently he asked me for some advice on how to stay safe. "I'm going to give you four things," I said. I could see I'd already impressed him by having a ready answer. He knows I’m a martial arts instructor , but that stuff is never real to your own family. At that time there was a subway strike in the city, and everyone was seeking alternate transport. Overground trains and buses were jammed, the roads were packed with private cars, taxicabs, bikes, and the sidewalks were overflowing with hurrying, disgruntled pedestrians. "First," I said, as we jostled along a sidewalk blocked by a huge bus queue, “just improve your posture . Stand up straighter." This caught Ben's attention. I think he figured his sister the black belt would demonstrate some primary aikido move or teach him to stick his keys out between his knuckles. Posture? As self defense? But Ben listened. He ...

I encountered a fantastic  blog post by Tara Brach, a writer I recommend highly for her insight into how we can be happier and be the person we imagine we could be. Here's the opening paragraph: "In the book  My Stroke of Insight , brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor explains that the natural life span of an emotion— the average time it takes for it to move through the nervous system and body—is only a minute and a half, a mere ninety seconds. After that, we need thoughts to keep the emotion rolling. So, if we wonder why we lock into painful emotional states like anxiety, depression, or rage, we need look no further than our own endless stream of inner dialogue .  Modern neuroscience has discovered a fundamental truth:  Neurons that fire together, wire together. When we rehearse a looping set of thoughts and emotions, we create deeply grooved patterns of emotional reactivity. This means that the more you think and rethink about certain experiences, the stro...

I recently traveled in Ireland for a couple of weeks. Irish people have an undeserved reputation for drinking a lot. People there do spend a lot of time in pubs, because pubs are social places where everyone gathers to catch up on the news, chat, and hear music. I think I saw more drunk people during two weeks in Japan. During my trip I only saw one person who might have been drunk. But then again, he might have been mentally ill, or both. I was having a cup of tea at an outdoor table. There were two young women sitting at a table near me. A man sat down next to them. He was obviously living a rough life - his face had deep creases, he had some facial ticks and grimaces, and he looked very sorry for himself. He started to harass the two women for money. "Have you got a Euro? I need it to get the bus." They said that they had just run out of cash, in the polite way we do when we don't want to admit that we just don't want to give someone money, whether we th...

I remember one time I was in the locker room at the Y with my friend Jan. We were putting on our aikido gi (uniforms) before class. There was a little girl of about seven in the locker room with her mom, changing after a swimming class. As we put on our black belts and tied them, the girl's eyes lit up with wonder. "You're black belts ?" she asked. "Yes, we are!" said Jan, smiling. I guess no matter how jaded you are, when you can impress a 7-year-old, it feels really good. As the girl and her mom left, Jan looked at me and said quietly, "...and it's not as hard as you might think. All you really have to do is keep showing up." Of course Jan was underplaying the hard work she's done to achieve a high level of mastery. However, she made a great point. There are times when the most important thing to do is to show up. Whether you're writing a book, running a marathon, entering a violin competition, or just trying to get thr...

Photo ©2014, Stewart Dean, imagovitae.org The other day I was talking to a friend about the incredible performances we've seen on YouTube.    "Ah," he said, "Some people just have so much talent."    "Those people work really hard at it," I said.    "Yeah," said he, "but they're just talented to begin with." To me, that kind of thinking can make you want to give up practicing or playing. If you think you can only be good if you already have "talent," why begin? It's not always obvious how much training goes into being great at something. Most artists downplay the amount of time they spend practicing: it's not interesting to hear about, and it's so much more impressive when it looks easy! Why ruin the image? When we watch YouTube videos, we only see the results, not the hard work. After years of knowing, working with and playing with many musicians and artists, I'm convinced that nobody,...

Recently after an aikido seminar, a bunch of us convened at a local restaurant with Sensei . As I was chatting with someone next to me I looked up, and Sensei met my eye across the table. "Judy, what do you think of Sensei this time?"  I laughed and said, "Sensei, you're even more amazing than before !" (First principle of ethical speech : Is it true? Yes. He was definitely more amazing.) Somewhat tongue in cheek, since the answer is the point of all his teaching, I asked him, "Sensei, how do you do it ?" He pulled up his sleeve to show me (for probably the 100 th time) the way he can keep his forearm and biceps totally slack and soft. And he said, (for probably the 1,000,000 th time,) "Judy: the secret is, I never use muscle !" A friend of mine once lamented, "Why is it you have to be in therapy for years before you hear the thing the therapist has been telling you ever since the first day?" Looking back over my po...