In which I Fail at Aikido in Daily Life, or: Bested by a Blue Belt

Trying A New Technique Can Be Bumpy At First 
This year, for our annual Kokikai Aikido Winter Camp, we decided to try selling t-shirts using an online seller. It seemed like the modern thing to do. Instead of guessing what people would want and ending up with leftover shirts, people could go online in advance and pre-order the exact size, style, color they wanted. They'd all get shipped to my house and we'd hand them out at camp. I'd order a few extra for those who like to make spur-of-the-moment purchases but there would be a lot less waste.

My son, Martin, works for an online business printer. He said he knew a cool little startup he had worked with before that had a great website. He set up the campaign and we were all excited...UNTIL...

The promised delivery date came and...no shirts. Not even a tracking number. Luckily I still had over a week's leeway: "Hope for the best, plan for the worst" is my motto.

This very online company had no customer support phone number, just email and chat. The chat representative was unable to give me much information, other than "They're still printing, I'll try to find out what's going on and get back to you." A day later, after no response, I contacted them through chat again with the same result. I explained nicely that I was already a day past the promised delivery date and really needed these 80 t shirts for an event, etc. Couldn't I get an answer right away?

I was told again there was nothing they could do but wait. I offered options (Express shipping? Print a partial order? Speak to a supervisor?) and met a wall of "sorry, no." Sensing that I had somehow upset this person, I insisted that it was not the representative's fault, but that I was really going to need an answer. Although frustrated, I pulled out my best "aikido-in-daily-life" communication skills, and was told I could either cancel my order or wait an indefinite amount of time for the shirts.

I quickly checked and found out that a local company could just barely rush order the shirts in time, so I cancelled the online order. I IM'ed Martin in complete frustration.

Outdone by a Blue Belt 

Martin wrote back, "Hold on, I'm contacting them..."

15 minutes later he had the following information: The shirts are shipping today by expedited shipping. You are getting a full refund for the cost of the shirts because you had such a bad experience.

How did he do that? After all, he's only a blue belt!

I looked at transcripts of Martin's chats and compared them to mine. I think he was successful because he used two good, solid aikido ideas and he used them more effectively than I did:

1. He put himself in the rep's position. (His experience as a customer service rep helped)
2. He didn't let his emotions affect his actions. (He had less at stake in the outcome than I did, which made it easier, but still no excuse for me!) 

He was also way, way, more incredibly nice and friendly. I thought I was being pretty nice, but written communication strips more of the emotion from our interactions than we oldsters realize.

I guess there is always room for improvement in aikido technique, whether on the mat or in daily life...

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