Kotsu Kotsu

I once saw a dancer stand on a chair, and reach down and touch the floor with her legs straight. I really, really wanted to be able to do that. After years of yoga, I now can do that - as long as it's a low chair. It's nice to be able to do. It's good to know I'm flexible. But it hasn't made me any happier. I try to remind myself that becoming better at something is not going to lead automatically to being happier . After all, every time I get better, I'll just want to try something even harder. (Or - depressingly - as I get older, I'll be striving to do the things I could do just a few years ago.) I'm not sure where happiness comes from. I know it's a lot harder for some people than others. But I try to remember to find it where I can: in human contact, friendship and love, in the sights and sounds of the world around me, and in appreciating the good things about myself.  Such as, I guess, the fact that I can do a forward bend.

This was posted yesterday on the Dalai Lama's Facebook page: "There are two kinds of happiness - the temporary pleasure derived primarily from material comfort alone and another more enduring comfort that results from the thorough transformation and development of the mind. We can see in our own lives that the latter form of happiness is superior because when our mental state is calm and happy, we can easily put up with minor pains and physical discomforts. On the other hand, when our mind is restless and upset, the most comfortable physical facilities do not make us happy." This is helpful to reflect on, living as I do in New Jersey as the region has been rocked by the effects of Hurricane Sandy. It is difficult right now to find respite from the focus on loss. Loss surrounds us, from the loss if a place of cherished memories, to the loss of power, to losing work, homes, livelihoods, and even, (thankfully, rarely), family members or friends. ...

Benjie                      -photo Michael Franz To Build a Swing -Hafiz You carry all the ingredients to turn your life into a nightmare- Don’t mix them! You have all the genius to build a swing in your backyard for the Divine. That sounds like a hell of a lot more fun. Let’s start laughing, drawing blueprints, gathering our talented friends. I will help you with my divine lyre and drum. Hafiz will sing a thousand words you can take into your hands, like golden saws, silver hammers, polished teakwood, strong silk rope. You carry all the ingredients to turn our existence into joy. Mix them, Mix them!

A recent  article in Yes! Magazine  lists 10 things "science says will make you happy." Each point refers to scientific research that showed that performing these actions resulted in greater measures of things like satisfaction, happiness or self-esteem. Here's the list: 1. Savor everyday moments  2. Avoid comparisons 3. Don't make money your top priority 4. Do have goals that are meaningful to you 5. Take initiative at work 6. Treasure family and friendships 7. Have a "Glass is half full" attitude 8. Express gratitude 9. Exercise 10. Give , volunteer, or help others Most if not all of the researchers above have spent their careers on this research. Yet...with any research the conclusion you draw depends on how you define your study. For example, I've seen studies that show that people who "lie to themselves" (is that what you call optimism?) are happier. Finally, many fall into a  fallacy that being happier will lead to greate...

On one unforgettable occasion, Maruyama Sensei was visiting Rutgers dojo . In our new location we had to walk the gauntlet of the weight training room to get to the practice space. Thirty-odd young men were lifting huge metal plates on various machines and sweating profusely. Three or four of us trouped through in our gi, feeling rather small in the presence of all that unadulterated muscle. I muttered something about how Sensei was still the strongest man in the room. Sensei immediately said, "Don't say I'm the strongest, say I'm the happiest man in the room!" That point comes back to me often. Sensei often says that having money, a girlfriend, a job, will make us happy of course, but the practice of aikido will help us become more happy even without money, without a girl (or boy) friend, without a job. Recently, because some trees fell in a storm , our house had no power for eight days. When it was turned on again we found that the hot water, the heating ...